Thursday, September 29, 2005
touched by his noodly appendage
Did you know that a year ago I was mulling over baking a pie and tracking the eventual takeover by iPod wearing dogs? These were the things that occupied my time whilst I was jobless. Two years ago I was just starting this site, still in school finding ways to procrastinate. I've really come a long way since then. However, as you can see my attitude towards the world hasn't changed. In fact, the more I look, the more I realize that it's getting worse. Oh well.
she treats me good
I have a mistress. Her name: Sirius. I must express my continual enjoyment with her. Having purchased a new vehicle I opted for her because Howard Stern is going over in January. I figured I might as well get a free year so at least I can be ready. Now I knew she had a lot to choose from, but I haven't once listened to terrestrial radio since. No more annoying DJ's/commercials/repetitive music. I have a choice of over 128 channels of pure orgasmic media. Today they updated and added more channels, including Super Shuffle. While it sounds homosexual, it is a random pick of any song from their entire catalog. I've had the channel on all day. That's right, I've been listening to it for 8 hours, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. So long FM: your attempts at mimicking the iPod movement have failed due to your lack of cooperation with one another.
family guy is not funny
Well I shouldn't go that far. It still is one of the more watchable things on television. However I watched the Stewie movie after James traveled all over Stinken Island to find it. Unfortunately it just wasn't that good. There were moments when I laughed out loud, but in the end it was 3 family guy episodes that had one loose running plot through it. Even more troublesome was that I've seen funnier Family Guy episodes that were not on DVD, so the use of censored F bombs were a tired effort at vulgarity. The biggest issue, and I'm afraid the growing trend with Family Guy, is the over-exaggeration of the "like the time" segments. As you know, the basis of Family Guy's comedy is tangent segments that have no relation to the plot, drawn out actions or events that play out longer than they should, or a combination of both. Early in the series lifetime, these tangents were there just to spice up the natural comedy of the characters interactions. Now, it seems Seth McFarland, high off of his series resurrection has resorted to making these "like the time" tangents the appeal of Family Guy. His use of obscure references, while fresh and entertaining are only constructive in small amounts. But a relentless barrage for 83 minutes (3 episodes) becomes tired and annoying. For the first time ever, I really wanted Family Guy to end because it was dragging out far longer than it should.
don’t forget to wipe the semen off your lips
Sometimes I wonder how stupid people really are. I wonder how people can sit through an interview with someone and deem them "fit for the workplace"? How these hired people can sit through the day doing nothing requiring intelligence and still get paid for it? Why doesn't management see what I see? How come I see a fucking annoying tall girl who's nothing but a bitch and an inappropriately dressed silicone filled ho and they see "valuable employees"? Is there a reason they are getting paid to talk on the phone, talk with each other, and giggle all day instead of actually doing their job? And more importantly, is there a reason they're getting paid more then me? Oh and don't worry, there are males who act just the same way, so it's not a gender thing. It's a fucking waste of human tissue thing.
QUICK NOTE: Brooklyn recently put up this sign to further endorse a stereotype, on the heels of the ever successful "fuggeddaboutit" sign, seen when you leave Brooklyn towards Staten Island. I wonder then, how will Staten Island top this. No way in hell will the borough stand still while another shows that everything it does is in bad taste. Maybe they'll play the race card, but backwards. "Now Leaving Staten Island: Never Come Back Towel Heads...9/11 Never Forget."
Did you know that a year ago I was mulling over baking a pie and tracking the eventual takeover by iPod wearing dogs? These were the things that occupied my time whilst I was jobless. Two years ago I was just starting this site, still in school finding ways to procrastinate. I've really come a long way since then. However, as you can see my attitude towards the world hasn't changed. In fact, the more I look, the more I realize that it's getting worse. Oh well.
she treats me good
I have a mistress. Her name: Sirius. I must express my continual enjoyment with her. Having purchased a new vehicle I opted for her because Howard Stern is going over in January. I figured I might as well get a free year so at least I can be ready. Now I knew she had a lot to choose from, but I haven't once listened to terrestrial radio since. No more annoying DJ's/commercials/repetitive music. I have a choice of over 128 channels of pure orgasmic media. Today they updated and added more channels, including Super Shuffle. While it sounds homosexual, it is a random pick of any song from their entire catalog. I've had the channel on all day. That's right, I've been listening to it for 8 hours, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. So long FM: your attempts at mimicking the iPod movement have failed due to your lack of cooperation with one another.
family guy is not funny
Well I shouldn't go that far. It still is one of the more watchable things on television. However I watched the Stewie movie after James traveled all over Stinken Island to find it. Unfortunately it just wasn't that good. There were moments when I laughed out loud, but in the end it was 3 family guy episodes that had one loose running plot through it. Even more troublesome was that I've seen funnier Family Guy episodes that were not on DVD, so the use of censored F bombs were a tired effort at vulgarity. The biggest issue, and I'm afraid the growing trend with Family Guy, is the over-exaggeration of the "like the time" segments. As you know, the basis of Family Guy's comedy is tangent segments that have no relation to the plot, drawn out actions or events that play out longer than they should, or a combination of both. Early in the series lifetime, these tangents were there just to spice up the natural comedy of the characters interactions. Now, it seems Seth McFarland, high off of his series resurrection has resorted to making these "like the time" tangents the appeal of Family Guy. His use of obscure references, while fresh and entertaining are only constructive in small amounts. But a relentless barrage for 83 minutes (3 episodes) becomes tired and annoying. For the first time ever, I really wanted Family Guy to end because it was dragging out far longer than it should.
don’t forget to wipe the semen off your lips
Sometimes I wonder how stupid people really are. I wonder how people can sit through an interview with someone and deem them "fit for the workplace"? How these hired people can sit through the day doing nothing requiring intelligence and still get paid for it? Why doesn't management see what I see? How come I see a fucking annoying tall girl who's nothing but a bitch and an inappropriately dressed silicone filled ho and they see "valuable employees"? Is there a reason they are getting paid to talk on the phone, talk with each other, and giggle all day instead of actually doing their job? And more importantly, is there a reason they're getting paid more then me? Oh and don't worry, there are males who act just the same way, so it's not a gender thing. It's a fucking waste of human tissue thing.
QUICK NOTE: Brooklyn recently put up this sign to further endorse a stereotype, on the heels of the ever successful "fuggeddaboutit" sign, seen when you leave Brooklyn towards Staten Island. I wonder then, how will Staten Island top this. No way in hell will the borough stand still while another shows that everything it does is in bad taste. Maybe they'll play the race card, but backwards. "Now Leaving Staten Island: Never Come Back Towel Heads...9/11 Never Forget."
Friday, September 23, 2005
harry potter and the inconvenient circumstance
Now that you've all probably purchased/read the new harry potter book and collectively creamed/shit your pants, I can finally announce my opinion on the series. While you may or may not actually agree with me, I do ask for you to just hear me out. As biased as I seem sometimes, I usually have some justification for my words.
First and foremost, the loudest reaction I hear from you harry fans is "You need to read the book, and then you'll understand. It's for adults." To that I say rubbish! From the beginning the appeal of harry potter lies in your typical fantasy to escape reality realm. That's dandy an all, but these are and always will be children's books. Other fantasy books/movies that are not considered for children usually revolve around something that is inherently adult more. Usually it's a war or the threat of global destruction, or something much bigger than some whiney kids at a school. In response, you harry fans say "They are so not children's books! They have very adult themes!" Do I need to remind you once again, that the series is a children series? Designed for children? It will always be a story about a wizard who goes to school and has to deal with the fact that he's important somehow. "OK, but the newer books have gotten so much darker, thus they are geared more towards adults." Darker? I hate that terminology. Just because one person or two dies, doesn't mean that the series has become darker. It just means the author did the smart thing to make money: she took advantage of the readers.
Why is it popular then? It just so happened that a couple of losers still living with their parents caught on to it, because the word witch/wizard/magic gives them hard ons/moistness. If these things weren't marketed as children's books and were sold specifically to adults, the immediate reaction would be that only geeks read harry. Don't you think if Dungeons and Dragons was marketed as a children's game, more people would find a novelty in it? And that's exactly what harry potter is: just a novelty. Just because everyone else is reading it that puts it on the radar as something you need to do too. Seriously do you think half the people reading harry show a genuine interest in the story? They say it’s a good read, but that's only because a 7 year old can understand it. So not only are they staying hip with pop culture, they actually think they are getting smarter by reading it. I think if I picked up "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" and read it, I'd feel like it was a good read too because it didn't take very long to finish.
This leads me to the actual content. We've already determined that I have not ever once picked up a book of harry. I have had the unfortunate luck to see the movies for one reason or another, mostly due to boredom or essential boyfriendery duties. And the people rant and rave about the movies. "Oh, so true to the book," or "Oh, that's not like the books at all!" What have I determined from my experiences? The story is actually quite silly. My biggest beef comes with harry and the predicaments that only he gets into. When telling the story of a hero, the first thing that needs to work is the believability of the story. And what is a story but a sequence of events put together. Unfortunately harry doesn't understand this formula. Let me sum up how a harry story plays out: one giant inconvenient circumstance. Everything that happens to harry is just a wicked chance of circumstance, an inconvenience for a boy who’s just trying to go to wizard school. And it always happens that he's alone, and the other characters have something else to do for no good reason. So he's either walking a dark hallway at night, or is walking a hallway in the day, or returning a crystal ball to a teacher, while the chick has to go study or something and the dude has to go work on his "magic." Of course, then classmates/teachers/cg beasts come around and discovers harry in this "inconvenient circumstance" and they're all like "Harry?! What did you do?" Finally in the end he inadvertently saves the day with the help of classmates/teachers/cg beasts, and all is forgiven. It's so fucking contrived. When the author of a story makes a convenient loop hole for themselves, you realize that had they continued along the original theme and plot, the story would have just dead ended. Look, I can understand if harry is "the chosen one," or some other happy horse shit like that. But I've seen and read plenty of other chosen one plots, and the stories are a lot more believable and less contrived then this bullshit.
QUICK NOTE: CNN needs to stop putting the moving satellite image of the hurricane in the corner of the screen. It's a hurricane on a loop. It's not going to do anything worthwhile on a time-lapse image. What more, it's not going to do anything visible from a satellite period. What, are they going to be in a middle of a broadcast and say "Wait, I'm getting word. It looks like the hurricane has something to say. Let's take a listen. (20 seconds later) Nope, looks like a false alarm. But, if the hurricane does have anything to say you know you can hear it here first." Assholes. Oh, and you know CNN really doesn't have enough to do when you see stories like this. And can someone explain how you can be "too sick to wear regular clothes?" Fucking idiots.
Now that you've all probably purchased/read the new harry potter book and collectively creamed/shit your pants, I can finally announce my opinion on the series. While you may or may not actually agree with me, I do ask for you to just hear me out. As biased as I seem sometimes, I usually have some justification for my words.
First and foremost, the loudest reaction I hear from you harry fans is "You need to read the book, and then you'll understand. It's for adults." To that I say rubbish! From the beginning the appeal of harry potter lies in your typical fantasy to escape reality realm. That's dandy an all, but these are and always will be children's books. Other fantasy books/movies that are not considered for children usually revolve around something that is inherently adult more. Usually it's a war or the threat of global destruction, or something much bigger than some whiney kids at a school. In response, you harry fans say "They are so not children's books! They have very adult themes!" Do I need to remind you once again, that the series is a children series? Designed for children? It will always be a story about a wizard who goes to school and has to deal with the fact that he's important somehow. "OK, but the newer books have gotten so much darker, thus they are geared more towards adults." Darker? I hate that terminology. Just because one person or two dies, doesn't mean that the series has become darker. It just means the author did the smart thing to make money: she took advantage of the readers.
Why is it popular then? It just so happened that a couple of losers still living with their parents caught on to it, because the word witch/wizard/magic gives them hard ons/moistness. If these things weren't marketed as children's books and were sold specifically to adults, the immediate reaction would be that only geeks read harry. Don't you think if Dungeons and Dragons was marketed as a children's game, more people would find a novelty in it? And that's exactly what harry potter is: just a novelty. Just because everyone else is reading it that puts it on the radar as something you need to do too. Seriously do you think half the people reading harry show a genuine interest in the story? They say it’s a good read, but that's only because a 7 year old can understand it. So not only are they staying hip with pop culture, they actually think they are getting smarter by reading it. I think if I picked up "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" and read it, I'd feel like it was a good read too because it didn't take very long to finish.
This leads me to the actual content. We've already determined that I have not ever once picked up a book of harry. I have had the unfortunate luck to see the movies for one reason or another, mostly due to boredom or essential boyfriendery duties. And the people rant and rave about the movies. "Oh, so true to the book," or "Oh, that's not like the books at all!" What have I determined from my experiences? The story is actually quite silly. My biggest beef comes with harry and the predicaments that only he gets into. When telling the story of a hero, the first thing that needs to work is the believability of the story. And what is a story but a sequence of events put together. Unfortunately harry doesn't understand this formula. Let me sum up how a harry story plays out: one giant inconvenient circumstance. Everything that happens to harry is just a wicked chance of circumstance, an inconvenience for a boy who’s just trying to go to wizard school. And it always happens that he's alone, and the other characters have something else to do for no good reason. So he's either walking a dark hallway at night, or is walking a hallway in the day, or returning a crystal ball to a teacher, while the chick has to go study or something and the dude has to go work on his "magic." Of course, then classmates/teachers/cg beasts come around and discovers harry in this "inconvenient circumstance" and they're all like "Harry?! What did you do?" Finally in the end he inadvertently saves the day with the help of classmates/teachers/cg beasts, and all is forgiven. It's so fucking contrived. When the author of a story makes a convenient loop hole for themselves, you realize that had they continued along the original theme and plot, the story would have just dead ended. Look, I can understand if harry is "the chosen one," or some other happy horse shit like that. But I've seen and read plenty of other chosen one plots, and the stories are a lot more believable and less contrived then this bullshit.
QUICK NOTE: CNN needs to stop putting the moving satellite image of the hurricane in the corner of the screen. It's a hurricane on a loop. It's not going to do anything worthwhile on a time-lapse image. What more, it's not going to do anything visible from a satellite period. What, are they going to be in a middle of a broadcast and say "Wait, I'm getting word. It looks like the hurricane has something to say. Let's take a listen. (20 seconds later) Nope, looks like a false alarm. But, if the hurricane does have anything to say you know you can hear it here first." Assholes. Oh, and you know CNN really doesn't have enough to do when you see stories like this. And can someone explain how you can be "too sick to wear regular clothes?" Fucking idiots.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
VICTORY!
As you can plainly see, the new site is now live. Live in the sense that its not sitting dormant on my hard drive in pieces of indescribable glamour. Come on let me show you around.
As you can see I went for this propaganda/war document look. This had been something I'd been thinking about for quite a while, especially after the last debacle of redesign I did. That looked like my first website by Fisher Price. It took me about a month to finish this, what with work and all. I created all the graphics from nothing, and the coding is all done by me as well. The slogan above changes every time you visit the site; it cycles between five different ones, and that number will be going up as time progresses. The Links and Archives text are clickable. The pop-ups need to be redesigned with something a little more styled. I will also be adding more menu items, as I go along. Besides a couple of little additions that I need to make, the site is pretty much done. I like the way it came out, and I will probably keep it for a while. Unfortunately when I updated it I also inadvertently changed the way all of the old pages look. So any of the archived posts have now been adapted to this new look. Probably not such a bad thing, but a small nostalgic part of me died.
I am really enjoying working on this stuff again. My parents wonder why I never come out of my room after dinner if I'm home. Besides the unorthodox amounts of vigorous masturbation, I'm usually working on this. Luckily, there are 2 maybe three more projects in the pipeline, and then maybe with some help, actually start making money off of this.
Comments and observations are welcome.
QUICK NOTE: The word "uber" must now be banned from all speaking. It is too overused and it's impact is no where near what it used to be. Hitler must be rolling in his bed in Brazil.
As you can plainly see, the new site is now live. Live in the sense that its not sitting dormant on my hard drive in pieces of indescribable glamour. Come on let me show you around.
As you can see I went for this propaganda/war document look. This had been something I'd been thinking about for quite a while, especially after the last debacle of redesign I did. That looked like my first website by Fisher Price. It took me about a month to finish this, what with work and all. I created all the graphics from nothing, and the coding is all done by me as well. The slogan above changes every time you visit the site; it cycles between five different ones, and that number will be going up as time progresses. The Links and Archives text are clickable. The pop-ups need to be redesigned with something a little more styled. I will also be adding more menu items, as I go along. Besides a couple of little additions that I need to make, the site is pretty much done. I like the way it came out, and I will probably keep it for a while. Unfortunately when I updated it I also inadvertently changed the way all of the old pages look. So any of the archived posts have now been adapted to this new look. Probably not such a bad thing, but a small nostalgic part of me died.
I am really enjoying working on this stuff again. My parents wonder why I never come out of my room after dinner if I'm home. Besides the unorthodox amounts of vigorous masturbation, I'm usually working on this. Luckily, there are 2 maybe three more projects in the pipeline, and then maybe with some help, actually start making money off of this.
Comments and observations are welcome.
QUICK NOTE: The word "uber" must now be banned from all speaking. It is too overused and it's impact is no where near what it used to be. Hitler must be rolling in his bed in Brazil.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
hate while I wait
For some time now there has been one website I go to that never ceases to enrage me. It's someone's livejournal, and the sheer idiocy that this person decides to post, rivals nothing which I have ever seen. As you all scramble to check your livejournals for said idiocy, don't worry; if I still talk to you than it's not yours. But this person has consistently violated every law of online journals/blogs which I sort of set forth here. I wish to God I could show you this. For matters of privacy and public ridicule however, I cannot. There is some decency left in me, if only a speck.
What made me think of this, besides a recent perusing of that fabled website, was this. As an Alumni, I still get The Villanovan in my inbox on Fridays. The new edition contained this article, and if you read it you'll see it is on par with the idiot journal I mentioned above. She also has written this and this. I don't know who at The Villanovan decides on these articles, but am I off base in saying that this chick is a deplorable waste of life? I was so insensed by this crap that I wrote them long letter of hate in response. I really would like them to publish it in the paper, so that she and all of her bitchy friends can get in a huff about me, but with The Villanovan, it probably won't happen. That's why I'm posting it here, so at least some people can understand this girl's petty life.
You know, you read an article titled "Partying with the grownups, sans funnels and Jell-O shots" and little do you realize that you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg. That what I saw was only the visible layer of a submerged pile of relentless, incoherent, selfish ramblings that come to be known as "Opinion" within the confines of The Villanovan. Yes, I do speak of that article with disdain and more so of its author, a certain Amy Durazo, whose personality and values leave something to be desired.
To begin with, in your attempt to create commentary on the plight that countless numbers of college seniors go through every year, you have done nothing to create any insight into what a post-graduate lifestyle encompasses. Instead you created a mockery, an article filled with generalizations and slang in order to compensate for the narrow minded reality that you experience on a daily basis. Let's get one thing straight Amy: just because you don't see how students "become grownups" doesn't mean that it doesn't happen...or that it takes a job/pet/relationship to happen. I understand that this is just an opinion, but opinions help us formulate character. If your opinions are any indication of character, you have a lot to work on.
To start, I'm barely willing to get past your use of slang. With phrases like "ohmygosh" and "friggin'" your name shouldn't have a place in a published college newspaper. However, its your general tenor throughout, one that reeks of spoiled, annoying, college student (I really wanted to say stupid, spoiled, whore, but I knew that they would edit it out) that disturbs me the most. Amy, you deem your parent’s party "gross" but your charming dad took shots of tequila while "mature parents" chugged straight from the bottle. You probably felt right at home. Or maybe you needed your drunken sorority sisters, and ogling boys to be there to root you on. It occurs to me that your mind must be so diluted by the college experience, that you can't even fathom life after college despite its impending reality. I bet you enjoy going to bars during the week, for cheap beer and kicks. I bet the only family you really care about is your Kappa Kappa Gamma "family"; a term used loosely for a group of similarly minded, overdressed sheep. I bet there are numerous nights and probably days from your college career in which you have no recollection of, due to the excessive amount of drinking you do. Finally, I bet you don't even look at any of these things in a negative light. Your answer would probably be "I'm in college! I'm supposed to have fun and do what I want!" This leads me to my next point.
After some digging, I realize Ms. Durazo has committed similar transgressions in the past. Lest we forget her use of stunning prose in the April 1 article "Springing into fashion" where she addressed the season's "hottest spring fashions!" Until now I never realized how empty my life was until I read how important "chunky jewelry" is and how much of a necessity "flowery tops" are. Furthermore, her words speak volumes in the April 29 article, "Doing fine without Mom and Dad," a 714 word pile of happy horse crap. Amy? The only reason you're going to school is because Daddy said you have to and all the popular people were doing it. If you slack off he'll take away the payments on your new car, or cut you out of the will, or some other yuppie induced threat. Let me guess, you're probably from Long Island too? (They'll cut all of this out as well. I think they look at direct attacks on way of life as some "too real, and could put the bitch in danger")
Finally, I don’t think you'll ever grow up. There are plenty of people in the world (not just usually male) who refuse to take life and the situations it throws at you with any sense of maturity. So "in twenty years, when you've grown up and produced a few offspring" you'll still be dressing the same, talking the same, and most likely acting the same way as you do now: with a "lack of morals and motivation." Oh, and don't forget to grab the salt while you're up! (I really wanted to predict her future: you'll get a job after college with the help of your dad, "pursue" your Master's degree in some bullshit, meet some guy who'll pay for everything and buy you stuff, get engaged, get married, get pregnant, have a kid or two, never go back to work because you have to take care of the kids but in reality hang out with your similarly waste of space friends while you pay someone. who was just like you in college, an unnecessary amount of money to watch the kids that you so admirably neglect, thus completely nullifying any education you received and the money spent on it. Your children will grow up to be just like you, and the circle will continue.)
QUICK NOTE: Why do I find a foreign movie about a living tree root more interesting than new movies in the US? Oh wait, that's right, because Hollywood is out of ideas, and butchers anything with originality.
For some time now there has been one website I go to that never ceases to enrage me. It's someone's livejournal, and the sheer idiocy that this person decides to post, rivals nothing which I have ever seen. As you all scramble to check your livejournals for said idiocy, don't worry; if I still talk to you than it's not yours. But this person has consistently violated every law of online journals/blogs which I sort of set forth here. I wish to God I could show you this. For matters of privacy and public ridicule however, I cannot. There is some decency left in me, if only a speck.
What made me think of this, besides a recent perusing of that fabled website, was this. As an Alumni, I still get The Villanovan in my inbox on Fridays. The new edition contained this article, and if you read it you'll see it is on par with the idiot journal I mentioned above. She also has written this and this. I don't know who at The Villanovan decides on these articles, but am I off base in saying that this chick is a deplorable waste of life? I was so insensed by this crap that I wrote them long letter of hate in response. I really would like them to publish it in the paper, so that she and all of her bitchy friends can get in a huff about me, but with The Villanovan, it probably won't happen. That's why I'm posting it here, so at least some people can understand this girl's petty life.
You know, you read an article titled "Partying with the grownups, sans funnels and Jell-O shots" and little do you realize that you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg. That what I saw was only the visible layer of a submerged pile of relentless, incoherent, selfish ramblings that come to be known as "Opinion" within the confines of The Villanovan. Yes, I do speak of that article with disdain and more so of its author, a certain Amy Durazo, whose personality and values leave something to be desired.
To begin with, in your attempt to create commentary on the plight that countless numbers of college seniors go through every year, you have done nothing to create any insight into what a post-graduate lifestyle encompasses. Instead you created a mockery, an article filled with generalizations and slang in order to compensate for the narrow minded reality that you experience on a daily basis. Let's get one thing straight Amy: just because you don't see how students "become grownups" doesn't mean that it doesn't happen...or that it takes a job/pet/relationship to happen. I understand that this is just an opinion, but opinions help us formulate character. If your opinions are any indication of character, you have a lot to work on.
To start, I'm barely willing to get past your use of slang. With phrases like "ohmygosh" and "friggin'" your name shouldn't have a place in a published college newspaper. However, its your general tenor throughout, one that reeks of spoiled, annoying, college student (I really wanted to say stupid, spoiled, whore, but I knew that they would edit it out) that disturbs me the most. Amy, you deem your parent’s party "gross" but your charming dad took shots of tequila while "mature parents" chugged straight from the bottle. You probably felt right at home. Or maybe you needed your drunken sorority sisters, and ogling boys to be there to root you on. It occurs to me that your mind must be so diluted by the college experience, that you can't even fathom life after college despite its impending reality. I bet you enjoy going to bars during the week, for cheap beer and kicks. I bet the only family you really care about is your Kappa Kappa Gamma "family"; a term used loosely for a group of similarly minded, overdressed sheep. I bet there are numerous nights and probably days from your college career in which you have no recollection of, due to the excessive amount of drinking you do. Finally, I bet you don't even look at any of these things in a negative light. Your answer would probably be "I'm in college! I'm supposed to have fun and do what I want!" This leads me to my next point.
After some digging, I realize Ms. Durazo has committed similar transgressions in the past. Lest we forget her use of stunning prose in the April 1 article "Springing into fashion" where she addressed the season's "hottest spring fashions!" Until now I never realized how empty my life was until I read how important "chunky jewelry" is and how much of a necessity "flowery tops" are. Furthermore, her words speak volumes in the April 29 article, "Doing fine without Mom and Dad," a 714 word pile of happy horse crap. Amy? The only reason you're going to school is because Daddy said you have to and all the popular people were doing it. If you slack off he'll take away the payments on your new car, or cut you out of the will, or some other yuppie induced threat. Let me guess, you're probably from Long Island too? (They'll cut all of this out as well. I think they look at direct attacks on way of life as some "too real, and could put the bitch in danger")
Finally, I don’t think you'll ever grow up. There are plenty of people in the world (not just usually male) who refuse to take life and the situations it throws at you with any sense of maturity. So "in twenty years, when you've grown up and produced a few offspring" you'll still be dressing the same, talking the same, and most likely acting the same way as you do now: with a "lack of morals and motivation." Oh, and don't forget to grab the salt while you're up! (I really wanted to predict her future: you'll get a job after college with the help of your dad, "pursue" your Master's degree in some bullshit, meet some guy who'll pay for everything and buy you stuff, get engaged, get married, get pregnant, have a kid or two, never go back to work because you have to take care of the kids but in reality hang out with your similarly waste of space friends while you pay someone. who was just like you in college, an unnecessary amount of money to watch the kids that you so admirably neglect, thus completely nullifying any education you received and the money spent on it. Your children will grow up to be just like you, and the circle will continue.)
QUICK NOTE: Why do I find a foreign movie about a living tree root more interesting than new movies in the US? Oh wait, that's right, because Hollywood is out of ideas, and butchers anything with originality.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
watch hbo: we can show cock and tits
I'll be the first to praise HBO for all the good stuff they put on television. In fact I believe I have already done so when speaking of the Vaginal Bonds adventure. So I was very excited to see them doing a miniseries called ROME. But it seems the HBO path is one that always follows the same road: gratuitous nudity.
Before I begin, let me define the word gratuitous: Unnecessary or unwarranted; unjustified. Along with the definition I found a picture of HBO's logo, as well as a random tit. Don't get me wrong now, there is nothing wrong with gratuitous nudity, it just seem HBO tries really hard to make it known it can show this stuff. From what I've seen so far,
Speaking of exposed, on to the nudity thing. I've seen three episodes so far and this is the summary of all of them: Credits, politics, tits, politics, some annoying woman, her tits, soldiers, rape, politics, problems with women, fucking, soldiers fucking, random cock, death, tits, death, fucking, death, vag, politics, breast feeding, credits. There, you just watched the three episodes of
So watch
QUICK NOTE: Are we going to start seeing Katrina stickers on cars? Oh! I got it. We are definitely going to see a Katrina magnetic ribbons. I guarantee it.
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© 1999-2013 pazzesco.
© 1999-2013 pazzesco.