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Saturday, December 25, 2004


The Obligatory Xhristmas Post
How do I tackle something as large as this Holiday here? There are countless ways I can respond to the season: Personally, publicly, biblically...sexually? This may be the problem with it to begin with. It means so many different things to everyone, we've lost the true meaning in ages past. We all have our little traditions, we all have our little meanings and heartfelt memories, but in the end the true meaning still evades us. Maybe I'll make some observations about this year's season.

1. The simplest response is that the holiday is completely made up. We picked an arbitrary day to celebrate the birth of the Jesus child. While that's fine and dandy, is that truly the way to worship? "Here Dad. here's a cigar. I think Jesus would like you to have that." It really makes no sense.

2. Now that we've elevated this time of the year to ridiculous proportions, we expect it to be the answer to all of our problems. Songs like "It's the most Wonderful time of the Year," demand that there is no other day in existence that can rival this day. The songs demand happiness and joy when people don't necessarily want it.

3. Being a believer in the natural duality of existence, I have to believe then that this happiness that is artificially created, has an opposite and just as equally powerful emotion. The happiness is only the result of presents, forced family visits, and alcohol. The antithesis then is the greed, anger, unwarranted lengths people go to in order to buy and receive gifts, the resentment for family and friends who you never see anyway, and the natural problems that occur with alcohol, but only on a larger scale. These unnatural seasonal highs will only be followed by extreme depressions. Oh, and traffic. God awful, asshole, holiday traffic. Procrastinators.

4. So what happened to good will? Sure, there are those people out there who are really selfless around this time of year, and do more than open up a checkbook, but the majority do nothing. Did you send a card to so and so? Did so and so send a card to you? If not, that's no reason to take offense. They should call it the holiday of expectations, because people expect everything they do for someone to be returned to them...sometimes more so. Giving without need of receiving is non-existent.

5. Finally, what no one gets is that there are 364 other days of the year when you can be a good willed and honest person. Just because they don't have a name doesn't mean you need to ignore the humanity of others. Maybe that's why Christmas was invented: to force the population to be unselfish and considerate to others for just one measly day. And look, we can't even get that one day right.

QUICK NOTE: How does any cartoon character ever made, dressed for the holiday, as a 7 foot tall blown up nylon figure on your lawn, signify anything? There are hundreds of these stupid blow up things all over the island. Some are as big as the houses that they stand in front of. Instead of wasting money, why not save some so you can afford a bigger house? Merry Xhristmas Staten Island. Your gaudiness and over-compensation for your little lives will always be reflected in everything that you do. Way to be predictable.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Masterpiecical
There. I just made up a word.

So I finally got a job. I work for Mercedes Benz Credit in Parsippany NJ. I literally got the job in a day. I went for the interview in the morning, and then found out they wanted me by 5:00 that day. I started to work 2 days later, and I haven't looked back ever since. My life has always moved in large events, rather than small steps, so it didn't come as a surprise that all my problems were fixed in a day. You must assume then that I have a new car if I am commuting to Parsippany every day? Nope. I've been using my parents' car. This may change soon. The old car is still sitting outside. Its last journey will be tomorrow, when it will be taken to the junkyard. The days of the Lincoln are officially over. Worse part is, I don't even remember how driving it was. Soon I'll be driving some generic thing that gets good mileage and is reliable. Did I skip the whole cool car when you're young thing? Isn't this the 40 year old family man mode I'm in?

As for the job? It's busy. From Day 1 it was busy. This a good thing. As most of you know I have a very short attention span and if I'm not kept busy I get bored very easily. I go in early, work late. For a first job it's pretty decent. I get wicked overtime, and I have lots of possibilities for future career moves. And hey, maybe I'll be driving a Mercedes soon, or maybe a Chrysler 300. I definitely see myself being there for a while. Huzzah perseverance and focus on getting a job.

Here's some advice as well. Seniors: if you live in or near NYC I suggest looking on craigslist.org for a job. I got most of my interviews from here as well as the job that I got. It's a good source for off-beat positions, and it's alot more personal than any of those big sites will ever be.

Quick Note: If you don't know who that guy is you should jump off a bridge right now,


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