Pazzesco!
Pazzesco!

Saturday, November 27, 2004


Vaginal Bonds
I like HBO. I really do. I think they've done wonders for movies being on cable. Snazzy trailer montages, spiffy behind the scenes documentaries. Not to mention their original programming allows them to usually sweep the Emmy's every year. Huzzah, Curb Your Enthusiasm as well. But this morning my high regard of them might have been knocked down a few notches. One of their new programs, Family Bonds, chronicles a professional bondsman/bounty hunter, and the business he runs. On the side however it is also an introspective on the life of his family. Thus the witty name. However I think this morning I saw too much of his family, or at least his daughter. I've only seen a couple of episodes, so I knew his daughter was pregnant. What I didn't know was that they were going to show the actual birth; vagina and all.

HBO does have a habit of gratuitous nudity. Their Real Sex series has entertained me for years with its use of nudity of the less attractive as well as the over exaggerated. Let's agree that they can show almost anything. What bugs me though is that this nudity was so out of place in the show. I understand that birth is a beautiful thing. But isn't that only because you know the baby as well as the mother he/she/it is coming out of? Objectively, birth is far from a beautiful thing. The only argument I can make here is that the show dwells on the family and their growing together, so showing the birth would solidify the importance of family. TLC does this almost on a regular basis. But those shows are usual titled with a name having to do with birth and the whole baby thing. But I don't think anyone really needed to see the actual family bonds being created, let alone the post-family-bonds spewing from the birth canal. Finally, did they tell the daughter? "Excuse me Miss? We're going to show your stretched vagina on cable television. Is that OK? Great!"

Family Bonds minus the vagina is an OK show. The family is your typical Long Island bunch, so seeing them is no surprise on this end. I'm sure for someone who doesn't live in the metro area, the large personalities on the show make for good entertainment.

However. I don't think the large vagina does.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004


Brief Conversations
Pat went to a cave the other day. He went with a bunch of sixth graders. We determined that there are only three good things about a cave. Stalactites, stalagmites, and bats. Pat saw a bat. He tried to get closer to touch it, but the tour guide yelled at him. He asked the tour guide if there were any jobs at the cave. The tour guide said no. Pat in a cave...yup.

Quick Note: We also determined that a man dressing up as Batman and appearing on a balcony at Buckingham Palace is not only funny, but a stark exposure of the gross unreadiness of palace security.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004


Style and Class
There are going to be some changes around here. I'm getting sick of this website. A long time ago I would have already done something about it and changed the way it looks. But the way to create a website has changed so much that if I want to do it right, I'm going to have to learn how its done...all over again. I've already started looking into the new language that the young people use. It's a lot more sophisticated than the crap I used to use. There are style sheets now that make your page like stationary, and classes for floating objects and the whatnot. It's a promising future here at Pazzesco and I just have to get the right elements together in order to make the website something I can be proud of.

Let me give you a little behind the scenes tour here. The fellows over at blogger have made the world of blogging very easy. Once you register for a website, you choose a template for the page. To create a new entry, you enter text into a convenient entry field and the submit it. The code automatically updates your first entry as the one you just wrote. It's a very sophisticated routine, but it makes the coding a real hurt on the eyes. I'm just now finally understanding how everything works. There are still things I don't get, but I'm slowly learning. Sort of a test for this was the new "fun facts" section, over there on your right. I did it one way, but I now realize there's a whole other way it can be done. The ease of use for you and me only comes from the complexity of the code itself...like the matrix.

So stay tuned for some updates concerning this, as well as your usual daily dose of hate and contempt. Once I get my hands on Photoshop I'm going to do a preliminary design and maybe I'll post it up here to see what everyone thinks. But only if you're good.

QUICK NOTE: James Taylor singing Christmas music makes me want to kill myself.

Saturday, November 13, 2004


Cause there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time. Wait, does it ever snow in Africa anyway?
Today I pose a question. A question that I'm actually answering by posing it. Is it too early to play Christmas music? The mentioning of this issue already dictates that it isn't too early to mention the idea of playing Christmas music, so you can see I am slightly biased on this matter. But like anything that I talk about, there is some history to it. And now the quick story of Philadelphia music stations.

Around junior year, the year you are allowed to bring a car on campus, (unless you lied like a fuck just to be "that person,") local radio stations actually became important. Up until that point you were a slave to what you knew in your home state, and to the hot new MP3 revolution that college Internet connections brought to you. It wasn't until you had to sit in the car, and put the radio on, that you became knowledgeable of local radio. My obsession with 80's music actually stemmed from this. 96.5 The Point was an all 80's channel. On Labor Day weekend, or the second weekend at school that year, they had a countdown of the top 300 80's songs. In other words it was a crash course through 80's music all weekend long. I was hooked. In the same field, previously that summer Nick Falco discovered Alice 104.5, the local everything 90's channel, went through a change. One day, entering the car, he put Alice on and heard the Beatles "Here comes the Sun." Cool, he said to himself. Returning to the car later, he proceeded to put on Alice again; the song was still playing. After realizing the Beatles did not record a two-hour version of the song, he came to the conclusion that Alice was going through a format change. They soon became Sunny 104.5: a family friendly station playing good-time music.

Fast-forward to November of that year. Being a young station, Sunny didn't have much of a playlist. To address this, it is my belief that they put on Christmas music early, to build a better playlist for after the holidays. But keep in mind that this was the beginning of November! It wasn't relatively near Thanksgiving at this point, which is the usual red flag to play Christmas music, and this new channel was already playing it. What seemed crazy at first, actually was a successful venture. Not only did I, and many others leave the channel on all season (two months of non-stop Christmas music), but also the channel remained on after the season. They successfully created a listener base as well as a new tradition all in one bullet.

Faster-forward to November of last year. Sunny was established, the Point unfortunately became a mix channel to replace Alice, and the expected onslaught of Christmas music was on the horizon. Surprisingly, a lesser channel, B101 started Christmas music first; just as early or earlier than Sunny the year before. Sunny soon followed, proclaiming itself the "original" holiday station. What about the Point? The Point played weird Christmas music for about one day, ceased to exist, and became Wired 96.5: a ghetto rap station with the tag line "ish loads of music." It was forever banished from my radio.

The real point? It's becoming generally acceptable to play Christmas music as early as the first weekend in November. A recent Daily News article in NY showed evidence that the channels that did play all Christmas music for the season not only saw a spike in listenership during it, but also post-season. And why not? There have been Christmas decorations up in NYC for about two weeks now. The tree just went up, which by the way isn't that big, so I don't see what the stink is about. Sunny 104.5 played Christmas music all last weekend and again this weekend, and possibly has changed over till Christmas already. Maybe this is a good sign? The sooner people feel like it's Christmas the sooner they get into the spirit. Yes, Christmas is commercialized, but listening to holiday music in your house or car is a pure and excellent way to get in the holiday mood. All without shopping or any other commercial bullshit.

QUICK NOTE: Tombstone is and forever will be one of the best movies ever made. Oh, and the New Kids on the Block were once on Showtime at the Apollo. Why?

Saturday, November 06, 2004


Subject: Wow! What a great week!

Mood: amused.

Music: Billy Joel - Piano Man

Can you belive this is my 50th post?

Phew, what a crazy week. I mean I had so much stuff to do, I didn't even know where to begin to find the time to do it all in. In the beginning I said "Wow, how am I ever going to get this done?" But I did. Go me!

First I had to call the insurance company and see how much money they would give me because of the accident last week. They were very courteous, but at first wanted to give me a dismal sum. Politely I explained my troubles and they re-thought their first estimate. The next day they called and agreed on a better price. I thanked them ever so much. That was one thing done. Awesome!

Then I had to endlessly apply for jobs. I keep trying my hardest, and I know that things are going to work out super soon! I spent most of my days Tuesday and Wednesday sitting in front of the computer and fax machine sending out my resume. It was a little frustrating, but I don't care. I know that with hard work, everything works out.

I went out with my friend James the other night and it was good just to get out and not have to worry about anything. It's easy to relax and spend money. We went to see the movie "Saw," which is a theatrical masterpiece. It was really freaky and mega scary. I must have closed my eyes like 5 times. Go see it!

Man do I love being home. I never get sick of being without a job. I'm going to miss all the free time I have. And who needs money? I mean really I'm doing great without it. And without a car I don't even have to spend money on gas anymore. This is great!

Well I gotta go. It's almost time for bed. Tommorow is just as busy as today. But, I know that I'll find the time to do everything. See you later! 143! :)

Quick Note: Staten Island ROCKS!!

Wednesday, November 03, 2004


Ah, behold the power of hate
We'll try and make this a short one tonight. I'm tired and well I don't know if I have it in me to be entertaining at all.

I try not to mention politics here, but I wonder if I'm being a good host or a bad citizen by doing so. I know for a fact you don't come here for political discourse. I know I'm just one of many clicks on the list when you're bored and avoiding work. But I hope your first click was enough to entice you to come back for more. Drawing on just politics as a basis for this blog would not do that. For unlike me, you are not all out of work Political Science majors. But I digress. We know the true reason for this blog by now; hate. Pure unadulterated intolerance for the human race. If you haven't noticed, I am sort of a bitter hateful kind of person. It's just my nature, and if you know me in person it comes out ever so often. Stress on the often. This leads me to my point.

If you do one thing after this election, whomever gets elected, watch The Daily Show. Their satire is quite entertaining, and I wouldn't mind one day having a job there. Tonight, watching "Indecision 2004," Steven Colbert brought up an extremely valid point. If there's anything we need to do, it's to continue hating each other. Hate has given this election the best voter turnout since 1968! Hate! That word we are all are afraid of. I think if the world didn't hate, then we'd all be prone to corruption and inactivity. Look at the UN. They are supposed to be a body of action and world leadership. All they do is have a hippie lovefest and never get anything done. And that's just what America is turning into. Everyone is afraid to do anything, to say anything, to point a finger. I mean the debates were a perfect example of this. We just talk, talk, talk, and say nothing at all.

What the fuck have we been doing with ourselves for the past 36 years? Oh I know: the American government has become so lethargic, that we can't even see the political differences that separate parties anymore. Can you believe it takes something as big as a war to wake up these people and get some life out of them? And I love that CNN has been calling this "America Votes 2004" rather than "Election 2004." Yes, it is that big of a deal when America actually takes advantage of the rights that it was built upon. Of course, once the election is over, we'll all go back to our normal lives, and not care what happens for another 4 years. Good work America.

So I lied. Do two things after the election. 1. Watch The Daily Show and 2. Tell someone you have a problem with what they are doing. Make some waves for Christ sake. Change is good! If life were perfect, we would be in love with everybody, and I'd still be fat. And you know for a fact, especially if you read this thing, that there are people and things out there we just don't like. The only way to make things right sometimes is to just let things out, and start over again.

Finally, I'll leave you with something semi-intelligent. History is like an endless waltz; dancing for all time to the three beats of war, peace and revolution. You just need to know what beat to start dancing on.

QUICK NOTE: Checking CNN.com for the election results in NY, it came to my attention that out of all the five boroughs, Staten Island was the only one who voted for Bush in majority. The rest of the metropolitan area voted for Kerry. Is there something that people don't get here on this island. I'm not mocking Bush, I'm just pointing out the stark difference and predictability this place always exhibits. Fuck you uninformed voters.


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