Pazzesco!
Pazzesco!

Friday, February 23, 2007


fat lazy assholes
Quick Summary: because of the excellent craftsmanship built into the new ferry terminal in Manhattan a water main broke and shut down 2 of the three up escalators, leaving one "groaning under a crush of commuters." Groaning? OK let's do the math on this one.

According to Wikipedia, the average number of people riding a Staten Island ferry each day is about 65,000 on 104 boat trips. That's about 625 people per boat; give or take a few for the late night ones. According to the 2000 census, 5.5% of the population in Staten Island is elderly or over 65. That means of the 625 ferry riders on each trip, only 34 of them are elderly. Let's knock that down to 25 because we know that old people don't go out much. The disabled population in Staten Island varies from 0 to 25% according to a fancy map I found. We'll say it is 15% because all the disabled people are not necessarily commuting to Manhattan. That means statistically 93 people on that ferry boat are disabled. We also know 93 disabled people are not on one ferry boat at one time unless they are going to the Special Olympics, so I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and say 50 people with some kind of disability ride the ferry boat. That makes for a whopping 75 people who made need an escalator to get around. I'll knock that down again and of those 75, 20 have to take the elevator for one reason or another. So because I'm generous, 55 people on each ferry boat absolutely need an escalator.

What I'm hearing then is that 55 people on that one escalator is causing it to "groan under the crush of commuters"? Something is not right here. Even if they showed up all at the very same time, 55 people would not put a strain on any modern escalator. Oh wait, that's right I forgot about the other 570 idiots who don't know how to use a flight of stairs. They're probably fat lazy assholes who refuse to climb one set of stairs, and find every excuse in the book not to exert any extra effort. And I don't give a rat's ass if they have heavy stuff to carry. If you're dick enough to bring something heavy with you, as long as you can lug it around Manhattan you can lug it up the ferry terimnal. And if that heavy object includes your fat pasta eating ass, then you really have no excuse and maybe taking the stairs for once will help you lose an ounce or two.

And I love how fuckface Fossella crawls out of his money pool and reached out (like it's a gesture of kindness) to the Mayor's office to start boarding from the street.

"The escalators pose a problem for handicapped or injured ferry riders, as well as some seniors," Fossella said. "This will make the daily commute more convenient for them, and hopefully the escalators can be repaired as quickly as possible."

Sure Vito...you keep telling yourself that. Maybe if you pushed exercise and not eating so much 53% of New Yorkers wouldn't be overweight or obese. Fatties.

QUICK NOTE: I want a hamburger, not a baby, a hamburger.


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