watch hbo: we can show cock and tits
I'll be the first to praise HBO for all the good stuff they put on television. In fact I believe I have already done so when speaking of the Vaginal Bonds adventure. So I was very excited to see them doing a miniseries called ROME. But it seems the HBO path is one that always follows the same road: gratuitous nudity.
Before I begin, let me define the word gratuitous: Unnecessary or unwarranted; unjustified. Along with the definition I found a picture of HBO's logo, as well as a random tit. Don't get me wrong now, there is nothing wrong with gratuitous nudity, it just seem HBO tries really hard to make it known it can show this stuff. From what I've seen so far, ROME is a well put together, well financed mini-series. The acting is up to par, the sets are phenomenal, and the action scenes are gruesome enough to be taken seriously. However, nothing's perfect. Besides the nudity thing, which I will speak about in a bit, there were some other issues. The opening credit sequence is far too HBO to be taken seriously. The graffiti on the walls of this gritty ROME come to life in random ways, with random pictures and random animation, all set to the tune of some odd mix of tribal/scat/alternative music. It is terribly out of place for a mini-series having to do with ancient ROME, especially because the actual score is very Gladiator Hans Zimmer-esque (expected). Also, all of the actors have English accents. Why in God's name does everyone have English accents when a different language is supposed to be spoken? It pulls you right out of things and makes you wince in pain when exposed to it for too long.
Speaking of exposed, on to the nudity thing. I've seen three episodes so far and this is the summary of all of them: Credits, politics, tits, politics, some annoying woman, her tits, soldiers, rape, politics, problems with women, fucking, soldiers fucking, random cock, death, tits, death, fucking, death, vag, politics, breast feeding, credits. There, you just watched the three episodes of ROME. Seriously, it gets kind of ridiculous. I have no issue with seeing tits; boobies are God's gift to men, but when it's out of context you watch the next scene scratching your head, exclaiming "What the heck does 5 seconds of fucking have to do with Caesar"? And sometimes they only show one tit, just because cause they can. For example, your entire body is covered with a sheet, but you choose to leave one tit out, and have it appear in the bottom corner of the screen. Totally unnecessary. I understand things were different then, and the producers are obviously trying to show the state of civilization in ROME, how wild it was, and how tribal a civilized nation could be. But to show that every ten minutes? And I'm sorry, one tit does not make me think wild and uncontrolled. Everyone sleeps naked. HBO obviously is just saying "Hey, let's show some tits here because we can. What's that? OK, we'll throw in some dude's small cock in for good measure."
So watch ROME and see all the tits for yourself. If they bother you, close your eyes for 3 seconds because I promise, you'll be missing no plot details. Just a couple of boobs.
QUICK NOTE: Are we going to start seeing Katrina stickers on cars? Oh! I got it. We are definitely going to see a Katrina magnetic ribbons. I guarantee it.
