Pazzesco!
Pazzesco!

Friday, January 28, 2005


The novelty of updating from work...
Well, there really is no novelty. In fact I shouldn't be updating this thing at all from here. But they recently gave me internet access, and while I don't abuse it at all (I Don't use AIM) I figure once in a while I'm allowed.

Trying to write when I want to seems to be one of the toughest things. There are so many time during a week when I say to myself, "that would be a great thing to put on the site," and then I completely forget it and I try to force the same thing out. I'm not going to do it. I refuse to force funny, witty, or any of the other emotions one can illicit from written word. My problem is not writing this stuff down. Can I tell you the number of times I've promised Junior I would carry a small notebook around with me like Larry David, just to write down those ideas I come across in a day. That hasn't happened yet. I think if someone gave me a small notebook I would have no problem at all accepting it and using it. Now only if someone gave me a notebook.

Usually when I sit down and type, nothing is in my head, unless I really do have a very specific reason for it. For instance, the whole car escapade was planned as soon as it happened. I planned on taking pictures and telling the story. I think important moments like that, important for its sheer ridiculousness and ludicritity (Did I just make up a word?) warrant a complete treatment. On all other occasions, things usually pop into my head and then I just go with it. Any kind of forced writing is awful. That's a big reason why all college term papers suck. They are forced and boring.

Speaking of college, I've been thinking a lot about it lately. No, I don't miss it. I am very content not bringing my work home with me, and having a college degree. However what I do recollect the most is the random times living with Sean and Junior (and Pat as the guy on the couch.) Anything previous to junior year is pretty much a blur. The second half really allowed me to be me, probably because I was most comfortable with myself at that point. I did stuff junior year I would have never imagined. And the roommates were there to witness it. If there is anything I do miss, it's being able to just come back to the apartment and do whatever with the guys. We could drink, play video games, go out, or just sit in and talk, and it was always a good time.

But I digress. I don't live in the past. That's what makes a memory so important. It will always be the same in our heads no matter what we do. Regardless of how the scene actually played out, what we remember is always the way it happened. And those memories will never be duplicated no matter how hard we try. That's why living in the past never works. We should just keep making new memories in the future.

QUICK NOTE: I'll be in Philly tonight, and then I'm driving down to DC tomorrow morning. (No one said a quick note had to be relevant or important.)
I also like Pepperoni.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


Just because I like you
There are times when I actually have nothing to do. When I'm not running around an office, yelling at dealers for their incompetent. When I'm not sitting in a car traveling great distance for good reason. When I'm not running an errand or two or ten for myself or for my family. Usually those times when I'm not doing anything, I'm spending time with Erika. I find it's the only thing I want to do when I stop to take a breathe. But there are times like tonight, when we are both doing nothing, but distance keeps us apart and I'm left to my own devices.

At this point, when I've been working for 2 months, I've already gotten myself into a schedule. Get up at 6:15, drive to work, work till 6:30, sometimes 7:00 for the overtime, come home, workout, eat, shower, sometimes go out, adultswim, sleep. I mean it's like clockwork. I've always been my best when it comes to schedules. I'm a disciplined person when it comes to my daily life and that's the way I've always liked it. Everything that isn't day to day however is spontaneous and crazy and unexpected. This I like too. And I can only attribute this to Erika.

I was going to delve into a deep understanding of personal character and relationship, but I just deleted it. It's something that should be figured out on one's own. However, all I have to say is that there is an aspect of all of us that knows exactly what it wants. The reason why it's not easy for us to achieve happiness is because as humans we are skeptical to believe anything that is so true and pure. We rather listen to society and popular opinion because it is something flawed and therefore real to us. When we let go and forget what anyone else has to say and just act as we know we begin materializing actions that put us on the road to bliss. In other words, just stop thinking about things and do what you want. You know what you want, you just don't want to know it.

Now I'm not going to say cheesy things. Cheese is just a filler to make things taste better. However, what I will say is that I never knew that what I wanted could come so easily, until someone like her made the world such a simple place to live. For this and so much more do I love her.

QUICK NOTE: I still hate everyone else.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005


The Tomato Wagon
Let's start by getting stupid things out of the way: Happy New Year.

It's quite true. New Years may be one of the stupidest events of the year. I put it right behind Valentine's Day and Boxing Day in Canada (mostly because it conflicts with my birthday.) It's just a holiday to drink excessively, forget everything, and make false promises to ourselves and each other. It seems to be the easy way to forgive ourselves of the past year's transgressions; to start anew. Isn't that what the human race is always about? Convenient days and events where everything that makes our character rotten is cleansed? By that I mean, no matter what our actions, in one way or another there is something that will completely eradicate them rom our guilt. Confession is the prime example. I'm sure Jesus keeps a daily tally of our sins, AND completely absolves us of them when we say 20 "Our Father's." It just doesn't make sense. It's just a human way to rationalize something we can't understand, thus dumbing it down. And this is what New Years is, only we dumb down something that we created. We apologize for our actions and pretend that the advancement of a year in a human created calendar signifies something drastic and important. It doesn't; sorry to burst your bubble. Don't get me wrong, I love the Roman calendar, but I don't worship it.

In other news the "New to Me" car arrived a week ago. And by arrived I mean I drove to exit nowhere of the Garden State to get it. I spent the weekend getting to know it and driving it 400 miles. It's a '95 Jeep Grand Cherokee, fun to drive, the gas mileage is OK, and at least I don't feel like I'm in my early to mid 40's driving some piece of crap 2 door coupe. It is a manly vehicle. Except of course for the fact that it's red...Tomato Red. This of course signaled the tentative name "The Tomato Wagon." Truthfully, I am waiting for BJ to give it it's official name. He had previously labeled the Lincoln the "EP" cause it was black and it was a Lincoln. You can probably figure out why.

On a relevant note I've had a great day/week/month/months because of a certain red-haired girl I know. She is quite phenomenal.

Quick Note: Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September Ends" will be on the radio soon enough, and they'll play the crap out of it. You'll see.


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