i should tell you, but not really, but you can figure it out, I've got AIDS
It hurts me to say this: I saw RENT. Like passing a stone, saying that phrase causes more pain and suffering then I have ever felt. Scratch that; SEEING that movie was the worst pain and suffering I've ever felt. Yes it was that bad, and no I'm not exaggerating.

Now, doing this is against my nature, posting something predictable and obvious on here is what I strive not to do. Peruse the internet for a while and you'll find countless reviews. So I'm one of many, but that's ok. I never said I was the only person in the world who had an issue with RENT. What you see here is a result of spending a lot of time discussing my theories with three; count them, three individuals who also saw the musical on Broadway. So don't give me the harry treatment and say "You need to see the (insert different form of media here.) The source material remained 95% intact. And this is the most glorifying part of the review: both the material and the medium are seriously flawed.

I didn't for one bit expect to go into this thing with any hope of liking it. In fact I was anticipating the shitstorm that I experienced. What I witnessed however gave me pause. I wondered how anyone in their right mind would allow such a musical to be produced, and then make a movie about it. I find it more difficult to grasp that a man dying of AIDS would create a musical that inherently enforces every negative generalization about HIV and AIDS ever made. But I'm going to put the AIDS aside for a moment. We'll get to the AIDS soon.

My biggest beef lies with the characters. The story is supposed to be one of hope in a time of confusion. Yet I found it hard to believe in any of the characters and what they fought for. Let me get this straight: you're living in New York, not getting a job, living in filth, refusing to pay your rent, doing drugs, mocking people more successful than you, just because you hate your parents and HAD to move out of your house. What am I not seeing here? There isn't one bit of unselfishness in these people. They're not noble in any respect. In other words I don't care what you sing about or give a fuck what disease you have, when you don't bathe for a year you should be happy your skin hasn't rotted off. "But not everybody was like that, what about the lawyer chick and the slut?" The lawyer chick needed to shut the fuck up. Whoa is me who decided to go out with some cheap whore who I'm warned about 10 minutes into the story. And the slut was from Long Island; I think that's enough of a reason to hate her.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg. Selfishness runs rampant throughout the whole piece. From Mimi's continued use of drugs, to Roger's inability to get over himself, Mark's boney whiney ass refusing to "sell out" despite his complete lack of money, and Angel's taking in of a man just because he "loves" him despite he only knows him for a week or less. The only people I see oppressing the characters are the characters themselves.

Now to the AIDS. Obviously the subtext to the story is AIDS/HIV. With more than 50% of the characters riddled with disease, I think that’s a valid point. I would assume that a man with AIDS would want to make the world aware of the seriousness that this disease has. That it can touch all of our lives in one way or another. What I don't understand is why all the characters that have it, for lack of a better terminology, kind of deserve it. I know that sounds bad, but hear me out. They all do drugs, they all sleep around, and they all live like animals. What part of that equation doesn't equal disease? Why would Jonathan Larson support the stereotype that he himself could be a victim to? I can't see anyone knowledgeably doing that. So then why the heck did he create the musical? Living in New York, and not Jesusland gives me an understanding of AIDS that's a little more realistic than your sheltered teen. But if I lived in the middle of nowhere and saw RENT. The possibility of getting HIV would be 0%. Because "normal" people don't get HIV. Benny didn't have it, the lawyer didn't have it. The freaks had it. I mean for Christ sake, Angel, the transgenderite was the only one who died. Middle of the country hicks would say, "Well that fruity she male died from it because he/she was a freak." Not to mention that the cast was so self-absorbed that not even the death of their "friend" could sway their idiotic attitudes. Let's all have a fight over our dead friend's coffin! Awesome idea! It wasn't until the crack whore died and came back to life, that everyone realized what they had...nothing. Yeah that’s right; it takes an impossible miracle to get some sort of epiphany out of these troglodytes. Way to hit on reality Jonathan. Oh and how come no one actually said "I have AIDS?" Why did every song and dialogue work around that issue? And for all the lack of money, why was everyone dressed like they were in a Gap commercial?

So take some selfish assholes, sprinkle in some AIDS, a dash of oppressed artist, and add a heaping helping of rock music and you have yourself a musical. Even more so you have yourself a movie. A movie that was nothing more than a series of music videos. Favorite moments include the Creedesque Santa Fe video, the gay romp through New York on the street with the fat girl in the background video, and the random journey to the alley to take our AZT video. Maybe it was because I didn't care about any characters, or I wanted to punch all of them in their faces screaming "Get a fucking job" but the only emotion I experienced was a slap to the head when the crack whore came back to life. And the 15-20 something year old girls singing with the movie, texting their friends didn't help much either. Can anyone else say predictable? Without surprise this pop culture phenomenon is fueled by these idiots who wouldn't know culture if it called them on the cell phones they don't pay for. Here's an idea: stop vicariously living through pop culture and do something with your life. Fucking sluts.

QUICK NOTE: Why does the Catholic church find it necessary to alienate all other religions in such a negative way?