so I heard about your crucifixtion
If I were to give Jesus a greeting card, that's what it would say.

It is my goal at some point, to fleece the residents of Staten Island for all of their stupid money. Money earned from God knows what, and spent on anything. Literally, they will spend money on anything. Stickers, blow up holiday figures, ugly cars, uglier houses, ribbon magnets, ugly clothes; the list goes on and on.

How do I take stupid people's money? I mean, it can't be that difficult. I've determined that creating something that doesn't exist on the island, which could be something completely asinine, would sell well despite its complete lack of anything useful. There's also the possibility of opening up a food place that isn't on the island and having the sheer novelty fuel things. For instance, Friday's just opened this past week, a chain that exists everywhere, and I'm pretty sure everyone has been to. You would think that on a Tuesday night, most people would be at home cooking dinner. Nope, not on Staten Island. The line has to be out the door, because God forbid you don't get someplace that really isn't so good in the first week. God forbid someone you know gets there first to enjoy overpriced appetizers and underpaid bitchy waitresses who wear far to much makeup and sound like they drive a truck. Yeah, that sounds so appealing to me, that I'm going to take my snot noised spoiled kids there on a Tuesday because I'm a bad parent and don't cook dinner anymore let alone see my kids unless they need money. Man, I love this place.

So obviously a chain would do well. But then there's another option. A pizza place. For some reason, most probably the gross overpopulation of Italians on Staten Island, there are tons of pizza restaurants here. Don't believe me? Have a look:

See the red and yellow dots. Yeah, those are places where you can get pizza. The blue circle is my general neighborhood. There are six places I can choose from to eat pizza. Six! and they are all half a mile or less from one another. Who the hell needs that many places in one area? The only reason there aren't any more is because the golf course is in the way. But I'm sure that they'd put something there if they could. Also, if you look closer it's the same everywhere else. If I drove down Victory Blvd. I would have the option of going to twelve restaurants. Twelve! and again they are all in half mile increments. Honestly I think the map left out some places, so there's more to be seen. The funny part is, in all of my time living here, I remember only one place actually closing. This happened recently and is now being replaced by a Dunkin Donuts: a novelty chain. Idiots.

So who's to say if I chose a spot on there to put a pizza place, I wouldn't do well? When your direct competition is literally across the street, the rules of pricing get completly thrown out the window. At that point it comes down to the knowledge that no matter what you do, people will still order from you because they just want pizza. You can stay in business based on the fact that the market is so diluted, taste/service/price have no effects and you can pretty much do what you want. Just make sure you use the words "Brick Oven" or "New York" in how you describe your pizza. These people need to know you're authentic...even if you are from Russia...and your cooks are Mexican.

QUICK NOTE: The weather has been very nice lately. It's been rather cool and it makes me think of the Fall and school. But not the people who go there. The people can go fuck themselves.