A spider named Death
This is not going to be one of those life affirming stories. Nor is it going to be one of those "I realized something I didn't before" stories. It’s just a series of events that happens to make for a good read.

So James was driving to the coffee shop last night. I was sitting in the passenger seat just minding my own business; I don't really recall what we were talking about actually. Suddenly James screams, "Ahhh, a spider is on me." Now, that would be fine and dandy, but he let go of the wheel in order to swat it off of him. We immediately start heading towards the woods where I see a telephone pole coming straight for me. So, I grab the wheel and swerve in the other direction as quickly as I could. Of course, we get too close to oncoming traffic and I have to swerve back in the other direction. Behold, another telephone pole heading straight for me. I swerve back and finally straighten out. Now keep in mind this all happened in about 5 seconds, so there really wasn't much time to think. James pulled over to the side, got out of the car, and laughed.

Apparently, a spider descended from it's web directly in front of James, anchored from his windshield. James decided to blow at it in order to flick it away. However, it started dangling precariously towards his face. That's when he freaked out...and we almost died.

Possible alternative endings: I could have died because of the poles and James would be wrought with guilt having escaped the crash and would end up a basket case or we both could have died and the spider would have gleefully escaped unscathed. In any case, I never saw a friggin spider.

QUICK NOTE: Surprise, surprise; I like boobs.