Hate is what the weekend is all about
Some people say that getting out of the house is healthy because you get exercise. Other people say that getting out of the house makes you social, and can be an enjoyable experience. I say getting out of the house just presents me with more things that irk me in this world. Seriously, if I could make this my job, I would. The world is never going to run out of stupid people, so capitalizing on them is the only answer.

NUMBER ONE
It is neither patriotic or noble of you to attach a magnetic ribbon to your car...especially if you live on Staten Island. It only came to my attention this weekend; I don't know how I missed it. Slowly creeping onto every car on Staten Island, like a fungus reflecting the quality of people are these magnets. You know, like the big paws from Penn State, or the not so subtle replicas for Villanova that are sold in the bookstore. Instead of paws however, these are ribbons. Like the "fashionable" AIDS ribbons that storm Hollywood every award show. But these are for cars! Oh yes you heard right. Slapped on the side, hood, trunk, or wherever is most predominantly seen, is a giant yellow magnetic ribbon. Yellow? Yes yellow, cause we can't forget our troops...even when we are driving behind some asshole, or when ordering from the drive-thru, or even when going to a funeral. They are all over the fucking place. Even worse, they put more than one. What's the point of having a car painted a certain color? You can't even see the chassis under the visual stupidity markers. Don't get me wrong, I am all for remembering our troops...tastefully! How does the song go? "Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree." Not "SLAP A GIANT MAGNET ON THE GUIDO MACHINE." Sorry idiot driver, thank you for reminding me of your distasteful show of patriotism, cause your massive window sticker depicting the WTC with "NEVER FORGET" emblazoned over them, and bumper sticker exclaiming "KILL ALL TERRORISTS" didn't set off the red flag in my head. I'll be glad to take that into consideration the next time you cut me off, fucker. And they are spreading. I saw a numerous amount of them in PA. What the fuck is wrong with this country? When did being tasteful become antiquated? Well, all I have to say is, if you see them disappearing, you know where to look to find one.

NUMBER TWO
Ah, October: the leaves, the weather, the holidays...the idiots who suddenly become Yankee fans because they are in the playoffs. Here's a big WHAT THE FUCK? for you. It's like clockwork. All year you hear nothing about baseball. Only those people, who I like to call "Fans," actually mention the Yankees and their season before October. But then as the season winds down, the others start emerging. Children, women, men, people of all races and creeds, the "Phans." Phoney baseball fans who only watch the game because the Yankees are playing. They have no idea what the record is, how the game is played, or what RBI means. But, if the Yankees are playing; they are the best source on baseball EVER! And this also brings out the Yankee haters. All those people who are too cool to root for a team that does so well, and never watched a game in the season for the team playing against the Yankees. You know what? All of you: Stop just going to playoff games, stop rooting for the Red Sox just because they are losers, stop pretending you know what your saying. It's like saying you belive in Jesus the day of Judgment. He's Jesus...I think he'll know the truth. You wear make-up, talk on a cell phone, and dress like a slut; I highly doubt you spend most of your year in, watching the games during the season. Oh and one more thing..don't take off school to go to the parade. Eye-fucking Derek Jeter isn't going to give you a future.

NUMBER THREE
I'm going to say it once and once only: Karaoke is not a showcase for you and your friends to sing a lot. I don't give a fuck how many acapella groups you were in, or how much you enjoy singing. If you and your friends are sitting next to the Karaoke guy and you have requested to sing more than three times in a half hour period, you my friend are a tool. Fuck you karaoke people who sing too much. That talent scout is NOT going to be in the restaurant, so stop trying so hard because no one else is. Oh, and Piano Man, Dust in the Wind, Total Eclipse of the Heart and anything by Bon Jovi are strictly forbidden.

QUICK NOTE: The inner workings of my mind.