Squagel?!?
If you're looking for me, try underneath the sea.

Sometimes lightining strikes at the weirdest moments and you have to stop exactly what you're doing and make things known...like the Squagle. Because I like talking to myself, you're probably like, "Tom! What in the name of Chef Boyardee is a Squagle?!?" So I'll answer.

In my "Summer of Summers" as from now on I am going to call it, I spent alot of time coming back and forth from the Philly area. The bulk of it was when I was helping Erika build a set for the rotten camp kids she worked with. This would require getting up ass early in order to be there at a decent timely hour. Down the block from said work place was many a choice for breakfast. What with me, and my unending money supply I opted to take advantage of this pleasentry. Dunkin Donuts was OK, but they are certainly not "reinventing the way America does breakfast." America likes eating donuts already, that isn't anything new. There was also the obligatory Juice/Smoothie place for all of you with testicular absence disease. Finally, there was Cosi. Now, I remember when it was Xando's, and then they all merged and weird things happened...whatever. They have your typical choice of coffee, breakfast sandwhich, blah blah blah. But there gleaming behind the Lexan divider was something I had never seen before. While it looked like a simple roll, it had a hole in the middle like a bagel. If that wasn't enough, the thing was square...square!...SQUARE I TELL YOU. It also had a name: THE SQUAGEL. I do enjoy those pun/interesting/unifying names of things. Like mandals, fauxhawk, and Puerto Greekans. So I won't lie and say the name didn't spark my interest...cause it did...so I'm not lying...

But there is alot more here to take into consideration. When you're from New York, the holiest of holies, among pizza, cheesecake, Jesus (if you swing that way) or Satan (If you swing the other way), is the bagel. They're large, they're hard on the outside, soft on the inside, warm all over, and Jewish. Sounds like a certain part of me, except I'm not Jewish, but I did have a bris per say. Anyhoo..when taking into consideration any bread product, particularly something bagelish, New York wisdom will automatically take over. With some hesitaiton, I took the plunge. I got an Asiago Squagle, with an egg omlette with cheese, provolone, onions and spinach. If that doesn't say good morning I don't know what does.

My Verdict? It's great..perhaps the best new breakfast treat known to modern man-kind (modern because the slab of Mastadon is still the greatest breakfast in history). It's still hard on the outside and soft in the middle but in a different way. The bread is more sandy, it doesn't have that shine that most bagels have. Also it has a bailiy look to it... more on that later. For me it still has made it's own name. I don't think of it as a bagel; I think of it as something completely different. It has become a completely new choice for breakfast. With at least 6 different flavors, and endless toppings, the Squagle is something to be contended with. So I suggest that you haul your ass to Cosi and get it. NOW!

At least there is still some hope out there for original ideas. History shows that a new take on something old can go a long way. Sqaure bagels? That's novel. Sqaure bagels that don't taste like bagels; that's genius. But don't let this steer you the wrong way and heed my wisdom: things that work well on thier own do not need to be tampered with. Only a few people come along in this world who can take something old and make it better or new. This excludes re-makes of songs, reality shows in general, and tennis skirts. Just leave things to die where they belong. Hey, if everything were trying to be Jesus, resurrecting with a twist, we'd be wearing head bands on our waists or something and they'd be made of velour. See...not a good idea.