Internet Spelunking
I value my randomness, my penchant for the weird, and just the ability to make people scratch their heads asking, "Does he really think that's funny"? The Internet then is a haven for me. As I always say "The Internet is the cause of and solution to all our problems" (Copyright Me). You see there are certain things that are always thought about, that have been looked for, and the Internet presents itself as an oracle of sorts. But if the damn thing didn't exist, one wouldn't crave these answers because they would be almost impossible to find. This is the nature of the beast. The convenience of the Internet teases you into asking questions that should not be asked, ones that are impossible to answer. This is how Internet Spelunking has developed.

I've become the go-to guy for the darker areas of the Internet; those places you know exist but aren't sure how to get to? When a question does exist, people come to me for the answers. Internet Spelunking, as Sean so aptly put it, is the process of finding those long sought answers. Through various links and searches and even accidents the eventual result is the answer or just some information to satisfy my client. Let's trace the evolution of this gift.

1. My foray began with a certain song from a scene in Silence of the Lambs. What interested me was that this song, for perhaps the most messed up seen ever filmed in motion picture history, was actually good. Yeah you know what I'm talking about: the scene where Buffalo Bill is putting on make up, dancing, and tucking his you know what between his legs. You know the scene, but you probably know the song too. Its one of those "Why do I know that song"? I figured not many people must have it, and if they do they are beyond messed up, so I had to be one of the few. TO THE INTERNET! Not only did I find out the name, I also found out the meaning behind the song and the band. Finally, thanks to the Internet once again, I was able to download it off of Audiogalaxy (RIP). Not a day goes by when I don't play that song at least once.

2. Now, armed with the knowledge that the Internet is a masterpiece of useless but useful information I began tackling other dilemmas. Of course Pat comes to me with a Nazi (NaziCount = 2) problem. He wanted to know what the song was from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when Hitler signs the Grail diary. Of course I found it, and also was able to download it. It's been one of Pat's entrance themes since.

3. It doesn't only have to be movies either. I'm sure you all had a NES as a kid. Why did breathing on it make it work when you put it in and got the blank one colored screen? I knew someone must have the answer. And an answer I found. Breathing on the connections condensed your hot breath, creating condensation on them. The condensation would act as a better conductor, making the game work.

Listen this obviously could go on forever. I've found such things as the Rad Racer theme from NES, the fact that Ecto-Cooler still exists, a comic book rendition of a fight between Hitler and Stalin, and even an LSD tripping children’s TV show. Some of these were by choice, some were just great discoveries. In the end the possibilities are endless. There is so much out there, and so much waiting to be discovered. But there is a darker side to this. Something I will explain tomorrow. To be continued....